I 29F inherited a house from my maternal grandma. It’s near the city, so I can get to work and it’s big enough for me, my two kids and my husband. Even on our two salaries, my husband and I wouldn’t ever be able to afford a home like this, even though we are pretty frugal and have savings. The housing market if tough, and we were extremely fortunate. My half sister Ella 25F from my dad and I are very close, and she landed a new job in the city centre. On her salary, she can’t afford to rent a place in the city centre area, and living on the outskirts and paying for a train there and back isn’t cost effective. She asked me if she could move in, as this was her dream industry and although the pay wasn’t great it was for experience and once she’d saved enough she could get on her own feet. Ella got laid off around Christmas, and had been trying really hard to find work, so I offered her the guest bedroom. She said she’d help around the house. She’s been here a month, and been busy with her new job. I’ve asked her occasionally to help out- make dinner or put the kids to bed if me and my husband are running late and it’s been fine so far. I asked her on her on her WFH day to pick up my youngest from school as the nurse said she was sick. I couldn’t reach my husband, there was major train delays on so it would take me at least an hour and my house is a 5 minute walk from my kids school. Ella texted me back to say that she was working but she’ll try and pick up her niece when her meeting finished. I got upset- my daughter was sick and Ella said she would try and pick up her after her meeting. I called her to tell her boss that she needed 20 minutes to pick up her niece after a family emergency, and then she could continue. Ella argues that she still had to work for the rest of the day and she didn’t have to time to babysit her niece. I told her that I expected her to help around the house when she moved in, and she said that she wasn’t free labor. There’s tension in the house now, and I wanted a second opinion. ETA- I didn’t call her boss I asked her to call her boss and ask."AITA for telling my sister that it’s implied that she’d have to pitch in around the house she’s staying in rent free?"
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Apart-Ad-6518 said:
YTA. "I asked her on her on her WFH day to pick up my youngest from school as the nurse said she was sick. WFH does not mean you take time off to pick up someone else's kid. That's not "pitching in."
"I called her to tell her boss that she needed 20 minutes to pick up her niece after a family emergency, and then she could continue." Are you serious? I get that you've been kind to your sister to help her get on track. But it's not ok to ask your sister to jeopardize her job. Your kid. Your responsibility.
Ok-Classroom5548 said:
YTA. Your kids are not her responsibility. If it was such a rush, you could have taken a cab or taxi. How dare you call her work after she had given you an answer. If she wasn’t there working you would still be responsible for your child.
If you want to set up a schedule of help, that’s one thing, but you don’t get to compromise her work for your problems. WFH is not “free to do whatever.” You SHOULD be harassing your husband and his work about his kids - not your sister. Why didn’t you call your husband or harass his workplace? What is your plan for if you couldn’t get ahold of anyone? She could have ignored your calls appropriately.
NotCreativeAtAll16 said:
YTA. Helping out around the house doesn't mean putting her job on pause. That's the job of a parent. Sure, she should be paying rent or doing chores. But you don't get to dictate "take time from WORK RIGHT NOW because I can't reach my husband, whose job it actually is to take care of our children with me."
East_Hospital_2775 said:
YTA. This isn't "helping around the house" and you know it. It's not her responsibility to jeopardize her NEW job because YOUR child is ill. That's absolutely ridiculous.
Dizzy-Potato3557 said:
YTA. You offered her a room to stay to help her with her career and then expect her to drop everything off at your convenience. Working from home is still working, it doesn't mean she is free to do whatever you need, even if it's an emergency with your children.
Your children are not her responsibility and she was busy with work. Quite honestly, even if she was at home doing nothing, she is entitled to her free time. Calling her boss was way out of line and could be detrimental to her career.
Why didn't you tell your own boss you had to take care of YOUR sick child?? She is not your personal help and you are not entitled to mess up her career because you decide an abusive way for her to pay rent.
You deceived her by offering a place to stay and never telling her she was expected to pay in labor, and what is worse, in very uncertain ways she can't plan on. If you are not happy with the situation, better tell her she can't stay or she needs to pay and give her a reasonable time to replan.
Own_Lack_4526 said:
YTA. Help around the house in exchange for a place to live - absolutely reasonable. but interrupt her meeting and her workday to pick up your sick child? That's ridiculous. The sick child has two parents. One of them should have interrupted their workday to pick her up.
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